Category: Update
Working on ‘The Cup of Agamemnon’
Having finished the manuscript for a children’s picture book and sent it to my editor, I’m back to work on The Cup of Agamemnon, a sword-and-planet adventure that I suspect will take me some time to complete This book will be a challenge for me. It involves more large-scale, semi-realistic warfare than I am used to depicting, so I will need some research and assistance to make sure I don’t destroy suspension of disbelief. The world I am describing is supposed to be like a decaying Achaemenid Empire but with Civil War-era weaponry and some science-fiction conceits thrown in. Whether that mishmash is workable remains to be seen.
I confess I’ve been playing around a little with ChatGPT. I fed it some details from this book to see if it could offer any real assistance. So far, it’s sort of like bouncing ideas off a person who is very safe and not particularly creative, though it at least offers a few reminders of things that need to be addressed. I’ll quote some snippets from our “conversation.”
Recently, after I asked ChatGPT about the first time I mentioned the novel, it coyly asked me to “remind” it of what we’d discussed, which indicates that it may not remember past conversations as well as its advertising says it does:
Of course, I’d be happy to help! Please remind me of the key elements of the concept we discussed previously for the novel, and let me know which areas you’d like to refine or develop further.
I then gave a one-sentence reminder to see if it actually remember details. It gave a lengthy answer, none of which suggested that it remembered our previous discussion, but which contained some good, basic advice for a writer. In the midst of it, it asked me to discuss characters, so I described the primary characters of the book:
The characters are 1) The Narrator, who, as his name suggests, is narrating the story. He is a troubadour from a race with highly developed language skills; he can learn languages very quickly and memorize lengthy works, even epics, in order to recite them as he travels the galaxy. 2) Angelica, a human from the future who has augmented her body with cyborg enhancements; her bionic computer is powered by a miniaturized fusion reactor at the base of her spine, and her main weapon is a segmented superstring in her hand, which can open a portal to the mantle of a neutron star and release tiny amounts of neutron-degenerate matter, which will instantly vaporize enemies. 3) Sam, a large, muscular, furry creature called a Feralax; he carries a large machine gun and quite a lot of ammunition. These three are shipwrecked because of a miscalculation while flying faster than light in their spacecraft. After their shipwreck, they travel through a mountain pass that appears to be a former trade route, but has since been abandoned. They come upon an unconscious native, a so-called Gernian, who appears to have been attacked. They treat his wounds and keep him alive until they reach a Gernian fort.
ChatGPT gave a surprisingly lengthy reply to this, mostly recommending conflicts that could arise from the details given thus far. I won’t bother quoting in full, but it suggested:
Angelica’s futuristic enhancements provide her with a distinct set of skills that can be both advantageous and complex. Her bionic computer and portal-opening weapon are fascinating elements that can drive both action and intrigue. Consider exploring her relationship with technology and how it affects her humanity, as well as how her advanced technology might interact with the moon’s environment.
Not bad, but not more than what one could get from a not-very-interested editor. At most, it amounts to reminders of a few basics that an author could forget in the midst of composing.
I tried to get more useful details, so I focused in on one scene: Early in the book, the stranded spacefarers come upon a besieged fort in a mountain pass. Realizing that the combatants have technology inferior to their own, they decide the break the siege in order to ingratiate themselves to the people in the fort and acquire the two things they lack–food and water. Making sure that this sequence is reasonably realistic is a point of anxiety to me, so I asked ChatGPT to see if it had any insights:
The characters arrive while the fort is under siege by hill-dwelling tribes who have access to cannons, flintlock rifles, and rudimentary bombs, but no more advanced weapons. The defenders in the fort have slightly more advanced rifles and cannons of their own. Describe the kind of logistics it would require to besiege such a fort. Suppose the fort is similar in structure to an Urartian fortification such as existed in ancient Armenia, with a similar environment.
The responses I got for this were okay but not insightful. It mentioned supply lines, which I hoped it would discuss in more detail or at least with some comments I had not thought of myself, but it did not. Most interesting to me is that it did not mention sappers, who played an important part in roughly analogous sieges. I then asked it about sappers specifically, and it responded with answers that were, again, okay but vague. It did, however, include one detail I consider useful:
- Focused Blast: Sappers might aim to create a focused blast pattern that directs the explosive force inward and upward, aiming to break apart the stones and create a breach.
- Overlapping Charges: Multiple charges might be used in close proximity to create a larger breach or to ensure that a single charge doesn’t leave the wall partially intact.
More remarkably, I asked it how the protagonists could deal with the pickets of the besieging army, and it gave specific (though, again, vague) responses for each character, such as:
- Narrator (Troubadour):
- Language Skills: The Narrator’s exceptional ability to learn languages quickly could be used to gather information about the besiegers’ positions, numbers, and patrol schedules. This knowledge would aid in planning an effective evasion strategy.
- Disguise and Deception: The Narrator could use his talents to mimic the language and mannerisms of the besieging tribes, allowing the group to blend in temporarily and gather information without raising suspicion.
- Angelica (Cyborg Augmented Human):
- Technological Abilities: Angelica’s cyborg enhancements could provide valuable advantages. She might use her bionic computer to remotely access and disable any surveillance equipment the tribes might be using, reducing the risk of detection.
- Stealth and Reconnaissance: Angelica’s enhanced senses and physical capabilities could help her scout ahead and assess the picket positions with minimal risk of being detected. Her augmented vision might allow her to spot hidden sentries.
The suggestions here demonstrate the large language model’s difficulty in keeping track of or understanding specific details: The suggestion that Angelica could “remotely access and disable any surveillance equipment” is of course impossible since the invaders have no such equipment.
New Story Finished
I have finally finished one of the projects I’m working on, the text for a children’s picture book. I wrote it specifically for my first daughter, and it’s based on a story I made up for her one night when we didn’t have a storybook handy. It’s a fairy tale with a whimsical premise, some classic fairy-tale motifs, a climax that might surprise slightly by breaking convention, some action, and a moral I think is not too hamfisted.
Before I hire an illustrator, I’m looking into how exactly to go about producing a picture book, which is quite a different format from the novels I’ve produced before. Unfortunately, my formatting software, Vellum, is not set up for picture books, so I might have to pay to have the book formatted professionally. That will make me nervous because it means that, once it’s formatted, I can’t tweak the text. I’m nervous about the options I see on Amazon KDP, too, which also does not seem to be set up for picture books, but I have several articles open on my browser which claim it can be done.
I also still need to send it to an editor, though the funds are rather short. It’s only fifteen manuscript pages, so I’m reasonably confident in it, but it would still be foolish to publish without a second pair of eyes on it.
Orlando Innamorato, Part 2
Happy Easter. Admittedly, I did not finish the Orlando Innamorato during Lent as planned. Although I’m enjoying the story, it’s still slow going for me, not only because of so much else going on but because … the poetry of the translation really isn’t good. Mind you, I still think I chose the better of the two alternatives, but there simply is not a good translation of this in English. I really am looking forward to the sequel.
I’ve made it up to Canto XIX, which is not much further than where I was last time, alas. Orlando has lost his memory once and had it restored, Rinaldo has acquired a magical horse, and a lovestruck Saracen king has besieged Angelica in the hope of forcing her to marry him. Orlando has ridden to her aid and he and the enemy king, Agricane, have had repeated duels. In the end, they ride off to a secluded glade, fight once more to the death, and Orlando is victorious. In what is famously one of the poem’s most touching moments, Agricane asks to be baptized in the nearby fountain before his death, and Orlando graciously complies.
The religious outlook behind the Orlando Innamorato is necessarily baffling to the modern reader. At the beginning, Rinaldo proclaims without shame that Christians are known for gluttony, philandering, and war, and the general tenor of the work is less than pious, but there is also a sincere religious sentiment that shows itself at times. One may get the impression—and it may be a correct impression—that religion in the poem is not much at all about how one lives but simply about which god one swears fealty to, similar to a knight’s fealty to his lord. That may in fact be its viewpoint, but it’s unclear (at least to me, since I lack the proper background on the author and the culture of the time and place and so forth) whether that’s part of the satire or whether it’s sincere. It’s always worth keeping in mind that the age of chivalry was over when Boiardo wrote this.
Speaking of religion, I suspect that Kline has modernized some of the references just as Charles Stanley Ross has admitted to doing in his version. Frequently, the Saracens are represented as swearing to Allah, but it is my understanding that epic Christian poems of this sort are wholly ignorant of Islam’s actual doctrines and instead portray the Paynim as worshiping three gods called Apollyon, Termagante, and Mahound. The two latter are mentioned in the Song of Roland on which the present epic is based and portrays the Saracens tearing down their idols of Termagante and Mahound after they lose the Battle of Roncevaux Pass.
Not being an expert in this subject, I’m not sure how this misconception arose. Mahound, at least, is Mohammad, so it’s eeasy to see how that confusion happened. Apollyon is a name from the Book of Revelation, and since Christians have always read their present circumstances into that book, those Christians who were threatened by hordes of Muslims may have simply assumed that Apollyon must be the Muslim god. Termagante, who appears as “Trivigante” in both the Ordlando Innamorato and its sequel Orlando Furioso, is more obscure. I’ve done some looking around, and from what I’ve gathered, nobody is quite sure where the name comes from or how so many people in the Christian West convinced themselves it was the name of a Muslim deity.
At least in Kline’s translation, Trivigante first appears in Canto XVIII, in which Rinaldo does battle with what is so far one of the most interesting characters in the poem: Marfisa, a lady knight of India who has her handmaiden act as her squire. This is the first of the lady knights to appear, though she will be eclipsed in fame and importance later by Bradamante, who becomes one of the central characters and whom Ludovico Ariosto, in the sequel, makes ther the founder of the House of Este, Ariosto’s patron. Marfisa, we will later learn, is sister to Ruggiero, who will become Bradamante’s lover. Marfisa, at least at first, is an ironical character because she is so skilled in combat that she refuses to fight any but the best and most famous knights—which effectively makes her useless in war. She scowls and marches back and forth on a riverbank while the army she’s a part of is being routed, and she has a duel with Rinaldo, whom she seriously wounds, though he escapes because his horse bolts.
The only other character who, so far, has a personality is Astolfo. Astolfo is a clownish boaster with minimal skill who happened upon a magic lance that has made him one of the most formidable knights in a joust but is too silly to realize his recent successes are not due to his own ability. Boiardo clearly has some affection for Astolfo, and if I remember Bullfinch’s summary version correctly, he plays an important role in the epic. We might see him as Marfisa’s opposite: He rushes headlong into battle because of his arrogance and she refrains from it for the same reason.
Lenten Reading: The Matter of France
Years ago, I had an annual practice in which I gave up watching or reading any fictional works for Lent in order to focus on some substantial nonfiction reading. These days, my ratio of nonfiction to fiction is much higher, so I’ve abandoned this particular Lenten practice. Nonetheless, I have decided (a little late, since Lent started a week ago) on my Lenten reading, and I invite anyone interested to join me. It is not nonfiction, but that doesn’t matter.
I have decided I wish to read the romantic epic Orlando Furioso, one of the great works of western literature which Ludovico Oriosto produced in 1516 and revised in 1532. The work is a sequel to the earlier, unfinished Orlando Innamorato of Matteo Maria Boiardo. These works together are part of, or are based on, the “Matter of France,” a cycle of literature about the deeds of Charlemagne. Generally, the Matter of France contains few fantastical elements, but the two Orlando epics are pure fantasy containing little historical content but lots and lots of magic, strange creatures, and bizarre journeys. Many anime fans know some names from these epics thanks to the FATE franchise and would do well to familiarize themselves with the originals to clear up misconceptions.
I have previously read Bullfinch’s deceptively titled Legends of Charlemagne, which summarizes these two works in prose. Bullfinch conveys the impression, and may himself have believed, that he is delivering a faithful presentation of the Charlemagne cycle rather than the inventions of two poets. In any case, his work is engaging and makes a good starting point for anyone who finds epic poetry intimidating.
My plan for Lent is to make it through the Innamorato before Easter at least, and then tackle the Furioso itself later. Having decided this, I have to choose my translations, since I don’t read sixteenth-century Italian.
Because the Orlando Furioso is more popular than its prequel, there are more translations available, the earliest being that of John Harington from 1591. That might seem the best option since it is close to the publication of the Italian original—but an online search reveals that it and most early translations are Bowdlerized, leaving out all the steamy parts. I oppose Bowdlerization on principle.
I have therefore decided on Barbara Reynolds’s translation of the Orlando Furioso, which is available from Penguin. From what I’ve seen, Reynolds appears to know what she is doing, and her version does not appear to be an abridgment. Her translation is probably less beautiful than Harington’s, but it is apparently more complete. Also, it was written in the 1970s and does not appear to have been updated, which means it will contain few or none of the corruptions of language so beloved by today’s academics.
Choosing a translation of the Orlando Innamorato is more difficult because there are fewer and less satisfactory options. William Stewart Rose produced an abridged prose version that’s somewhat famous and would probably make a good introduction to the Furioso, but I have already read Bullfinch’s prose summary, so that does not interest me. More recently, Charles Stanley Ross produced a poetic but non-rhyming translation. However, the above-mentioned Barbara Reynolds convincingly eviscerated his work in a thorough review (that, maddeningly, I can’t find again, or else I’d link it). A few samples confirm Reynolds’s opinion that Ross’s poetry is awful. To make matters worse, the most recent edition of his work has a foreword announcing that “terms of gender and religion have been updated.” As already stated, I detest Bowdlerization, even self-Bowdlerization, so the Ross version is a no-go.
I finally decided on the translation by A. S. Kline. It’s recent, so I’m wary of it (a discerning reader should be wary of any translation produced within the last decade), but it might be the best version that is both in English and not abridged. Unlike Ross’s, it does not attempt to keep the meter of the original but—like the original and unlike Ross’s—it rhymes. From what I’ve seen of it so far, the poetry is merely passable, but that will have to do.
And We’re Back
The site was down for much of the day today, for reasons unclear to me. This has been happening more often lately, and I’m not technical enough to know why, though it makes me wonder if the site is unstable. I don’t have anything particularly weird plugged into it, but who knows?
Anyway, we’re back. My hosting service is prompt in answering customer queries even though they have trouble keeping me online.
D. G. D. Davidson on the ‘Blasters and Blades’ Podcast
My interview with the Blasters and Blades podcast is now live. You can listen to it on Anchor FM or on YouTube:
My wife listened to it earlier and said to me, “You talk too much,” which is true. I was nervous during this interview, and when I get nervous, I talk.
During the interview, we mostly talked about Rags and Muffin, which, it just so happens, would make a nice Christmas gift for the geek in your life.
Quick Update
I’ve had a heck of a time getting a chance to write blog posts, since our little daughter has hit another phase where she doesn’t want to sleep at night (and she never likes to sleep if “Dada” isn’t in the room). Nonetheless, I’m working on a project I’m excited about. I’ll give updates later, so stay tuned.
New Compy
At last, I have acquired my “new” computer. My old one had become unusable, so it had to be replaced. The new one, which is refurbished, definitely has some disappointments, but it should last a few years, in which time I might be able to save up for something better. One way or the other, the old one had to be replaced, so I can’t really complain.
That being said, I found out that, stupidly, I failed to make sure it has WiFi. I guess I sort of thought everything today has WiFi. As it turns out, it doesn’t have it. Fortunately, my desk is currently close to the router, so I was able to plug it in.
Also, the “free” monitors that came with it are blasting my eyes, even when I turn the brightness down to zero and probably because of bad framerate or something. I might have to replace them with something less cheap just to save my vision.
Also, the computer does not have suitable specs to be upgraded to Windows 11, which surprises me as its specs are mostly decent (aside from the missing WiFi), but Windows 11 is apparently quite specific about what it will run on. I suppose I will plan to replace this thing approximately around the time Microsoft stops supporting Windows 10, or when I want to move my desk across the room.
But the good news is, I can open the word processor without the computer freezing up for fifteen minutes! That is like a revelation. This should increase my productivity immensely, assuming the monitors don’t give me constant migraines. I’m currently copying over all my documents from my backup drive, after which I can get to work. Also, I now have dual monitors for the first time, so I can go all Minority Report with my windows.
Writing Children’s Books
My wife and parents have been urging me to produce some child-friendly writings, and I’ve been thinking I really should, especially since experience indicates that kids show the most interest in my work. Besides, I’d like to produce something I can read to my daughter, who’s currently under two. Since she was born, we have taught her to love books, and now that she’s beginning to form complete senteces, she often brings us books with the command, “Read the book!”
Today is the last day of our Covid isolation, and we’re all just about back to full health. We were lucky not to get sick during the height of the pandemic, and to come down with a mild variant that never went into our chests. I am currently working primarily on two projects: I just finished the draft text for a children’s picture book and am also editing and rewriting a more advanced children’s novel. On top of that, I’m working on the third volume of Jake and the Dynamo, which runs under the working title of The Shadow of His Shadow.
I don’t have experience writing for kids. My wife, looking over the draft of my picture book, immediately said the vocabulary and sentence structure were too advanced. But that doesn’t surprise me; I was already aware that, as I was writing it, I slipped back into my natural style. That can be fixed.
I’ll be wanting an illustrator in the near future to come in on this project. I’m not sure who to pursue as of yet, though I wish I still had contact with Roffles Lowell, who did the interiors of Jake and the Dynamo, and whose style would be great for a children’s book.