#WaifuWednesday

This #WaifuWednesday, I happened to stumble across a site called Honey’s Anime, the proprietor of which has a post on “Top 10 Magical Girl Characters.” These top 10 lists are maybe a little stupid because they’re wholly arbitrary, but I did notice that, in the midst of his list, he had Ryuko Matoi from Kill la Kill.

Although it’s an unusual title, I consider Kill la Kill a genuine magical girl show, being as it is an allegorical story about growing up, with monster fights and transformation sequences. It was an early production of Studio Trigger, which had been founded by the creators of the manic shounen classic Gurren Lagann. Kill la Kill has the same crazy pacing, the same bizarre humor, the same surreal imagery, and the same Looney Tunes-inspired animation as its predecessor, but can’t rise to the gravitas that Gurren Lagann ultimately develops, simply because Kill la Kill’s plot is too damn silly. Still, it’s easily one of the best magical girl titles ever made, and it might be the only one that attempts to give an explanation, ridiculous though that explanation is, of why magical girls tend to get naked in public.

Anyway, Ryuko, the heroine of Kill la Kill, is a rough and tough tomboy who’s travelling the world like Antonio Banderas in Desperado, searching for her father’s killer. She’s armed with half of a giant pair of scissors and wears a talking sailor suit. She’s remarkably lovable in her perpetual pissed-offedness.

Although decidedly less friendly than your average magical girl, Ryuko hangs out with an obsessive best friend, wears skanky clothing, transforms, battles hordes of monsters, and saves the world just like the best of them.

#WaifuWednesday Special: Andalusia Trading Card is 50% Off!

On this Waifu Wednesday, are you alone? Are you lonely and miserable, sitting in your mom’s basement with your fedora askew on your unwashed hair as you scratch your unshorn neck and pick at your acne? Are your hot pockets tasteless, no longer satisfying? Does your anime character body pillow no longer comfort you as it once did? Do you wonder if this is all there is to life? Do you yearn for something more? Are you in need of a warrior dame named after an autonomous community of Spain to lift you out of your doldrums?

I think so. In fact, I know so.

That’s why, in honor of Waifu Wednesday, our one-of-a-kind Magical Girl Lady Paladin Andalusia trading cards are half off for one day only! Featuring Andalusia’s genuine signature and the professional photography of artist Roffles Lowell, this card depicts Andalusia in a striking yet sensitive pose, eyes humbly cast down as she thanks God and the Moon Princess for her latest victory over monsters and Saracens … or maybe she’s just thinking about the Backdoor Boys, because, I mean, Donnie in those tight jeans? Like, OMP.

So don’t delay. Shut up and let me take your money … or something like that.

#WaifuWednesday on Thursday

Featuring Nagisa Misumi.

I’m currently neck-deep in Glitter Force, the English adaptation of Smile Pretty Cure!, the ninth Pretty Cure series, but only the second to get dubbed in English.

Although its writing is decidedly better, Smile PreCure doesn’t have the technically impressive action sequences of the original Futari wa Pretty Cure. So this week’s Waifu Wednesday goes out to one of the original cures, Nagisa Misumi, also known as Cure Black. In addition to starring in the original series, she reappears in the sequel Pretty Cure Max Heart and in multiple movies.

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#WaifuWednesday

Featuring Rose Lavillant.

Today’s #WaifuWednesday goes out to Rose Lavillant from Miraculous Ladybug.

Rose is in the same class as the protagonists Marinette and Adrien. Blond, blue-eyed, and presumably French, she is known for her sweet temperament. Look at the picture at the top there: does she have a finger pressed against her own eyeball?

I can’t stop staring at the characters’ freaky eyes.

When her classmates were attempting to make a homemade horror movie, Rose was in charge of the catering. Even when a real monster showed up and started devouring them one by one, she was still making sure that everyone had enough to eat.

That’s her in the back with her spread of fruit and juice.

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#WaifuWednesday

Featuring Sailor Jupiter!

Today’s Waifu Wednesday is dedicated to Makoto Kino, also known as Sailor Jupiter. Sailor Jupiter is best pony.

Naoko Takeuchi originally intended the character to be a sukeban (that is, a girl gangster), but later dropped that idea. Nonetheless, Makoto retains some sukeban-like characteristics, including an intimidating air and a longer skirt.

Allegedly, she’s enormous and intimidates people with her bulk, though she actually has the same Barbie doll build as every other girl in Sailor Moon and doesn’t appear to stand more than a couple of inches taller.

Makoto likes flowers, cooking, and boys. In the anime, she also studies Kung fu. The anime also turns her general boy-craziness into a running gag: most every male she meets reminds her of her senpai.

She has super strength, and she’s a pretty good fighter even when not transformed. As a sailor, she can fire bolts of lightning, and she can allegedly control weather, though she apparently sucks at it.

But that’s okay, because no matter what, she’s still best sailor scout.