JAKE AND THE DYNAMO Chapter 9

JAKE AND THE DYNAMO

CHAPTER 9: PIZZA FOR BREAKFAST

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Bleary and grumpy, the Dark Queen slouched on her throne. She had another drink in hand: this one was a Bloody Mary spiced with Worcestershire, Tabasco, and horseradish—some hair of the dog to take the edge off a hangover. The night before, depressed by the Robosaurs’ early invasion, she had finally sat down with her henchmen in the Rec Room of Darkness to watch the battle unfold on the news.

When the Temple of the Moon Princess had fired the Weapon and opened a portal to eternal perdition above the city’s skyline, she had decided to get drunk. Her only consolation was the certain knowledge that many of the non-magical humans caught outside when the Weapon fired had failed their san checks. Continue reading “JAKE AND THE DYNAMO Chapter 9”

Review: Sailor Moon: Crystal, Season 3 Episode 7

Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon: Crystal, Episode 33, “Three Guardians.” Toei Animation, May 2016. Approx. 24 minutes. Available on Crunchyroll.

I think I missed an episode in here somewhere. Hm.

Anyway, in this episode, the pace picks up as the story heads toward its climax. The three outer scouts, Neptune, Uranus, and Pluto, finally explain what they’re doing, though by this time the audience already knows: they were reborn on Earth for the purpose of taking down the Death Busters from the Tau Star System, who invaded Earth through a rift in space-time. Same thing most of us do on weekends. Continue reading “Review: Sailor Moon: Crystal, Season 3 Episode 7”

Your Coffee Is Murder

Friggin’ hilarious.

I’ll often go looking up something to fact-check what I’m writing and stumble across bizarre things like this.  This is a pastiche of scenes from coffee ads ca. 1950s-1960s.

Of course, the comments on YouTube are all about “sexism” or whatever, but my experience of ads from that era is that they were a lot harsher and more aggressive all-around than ads of today.  In the 1960s, advertisers were unafraid to tell you that your breath stinks, or that you’ll never get a date if you’re bald, or that you can’t make coffee worth a damn.

Whether the shift in the tone of advertising is due to refinement in advertisers’ technique, or due to people today being pussies who can’t handle criticism, I leave to the reader’s speculation.

Pesky Editing

I spent yesterday drafting chapter 17, and will spend most of today editing several other chapters.

I’ve also gone back and removed epigram from the existing chapter posts, as it appears to be conflicting with my SEO software.  The chapters are supposed to have summaries that show up on search engines, but the epigram, which is posted with the “excerpt” function on the blog theme, apparently overrides it.  That’s fine, as I was getting tired of seeing it at the top of every chapter anyway.

And speaking of SEO, I’m think of throwing in keywords on posts.  I don’t know if that works like it used to now that search engines have more sophisticated algorithms, but it’s worth a shot.

Keywords for this post:

Porsche, sickle cell disease, Donald Trump, Chicago Cubs, Jeff Bezos, Domino’s Pizza, Game of Thrones

‘Magical Girl Monthly’

The artist GDBEE has been making these covers for an imaginary magical girl magazine. I see them cropping up from time to time so I thought I ought to post one. She intends to make one for each month of the year. I’m not sure how many months she’s made it through.

Her DeviantART page is here, and her online shop is here.

Today’s a writing day for me. I’m drafting chapter 17 of Jake and the Dynamo to maintain my buffer.

The History of Magical Girl Anime, Part 8

The copyright Nazis aren’t allowing us access to several of SourcererZZ’s videos on the history of the magical girl genre, so the next one I can embed is episode 8, which covers the years 1998 to 1999

He here discusses some very well-known and influential series, starting with Cardcaptor Sakura, which is possibly the most overrated magical girl franchise of all time (I’m sorry, but it’s true) by the inexplicably popular CLAMP. I was geeking out about magical girls with somebody a month or so back, and he described Cardcaptor Sakura as the story of “an adorable, innocent little girl completely surrounded by perverts.” I can’t think of a more accurate description. But I’ll rant on that at another time.

SourcererZZ also discusses the cute witch mega-franchise Ojamojo Doremi, which is known to cause cavities. Then he goes on to describe Phantom Thief Jeanne, the original manga version of which recently saw a re-release. The anime version of that one was bowdlerized from the manga.

He goes on to discuss Jubei-chan: Secret of the Lovely Eyepatch, one of the most bizarre series I’ve ever seen. Although it’s inexpressibly weird, it has an excellent story involving ancient grudges and samurai battles, but it sacrifices much-needed character development on the altar of cheap boob jokes.

‘Chaos Arena: Crystal Fighters’

Chaos Arena: Crystal Fighters, Chapter 1, written and illustrated by Jen and Tyler Bartel. Digital comic. Stēla. 2016.

This is a digital comic, new within the last few months, with a magical girl theme and an unusual premise. I’d like to be able to say more about it than I’m going to, but aside from its first chapter, it is, unfortunately, available only behind a paywall on the Stēla comic-reading app, which is available only on the iPhone.

I have an Android. So I’m going to discuss the first chapter (which you can read online for free) and say what I think so far, and then I’ll leave those of you with iPhones to decide if you want to shell out in order to read further yourselves. The Stēla people need to get their act together and port their app for the rest of us.

Also, you’ll notice I don’t have a link to Stēla’s website or the free first chapter. That’s because I read the chapter on my phone using the web browser, but now that I’ve sat down at my PC to write the review, I find that my anti-malware program has blocked Stēla’s site for malicious content. That could be an error on my end, or it could mean that the Stēla people really need to get their act together. Continue reading “‘Chaos Arena: Crystal Fighters’”