A Prayer to the Moon Princess on this Day of Darkness

Your Majesty,

On this day when your orb covers the disc of the sun, may we remember those virtues of love and justice for which you fought, and may we remain always true to the Silver Millennium.

Don’t look straight at it, you idiots.

May we remember not to look directly at yon eclipse, lest we be blinded by your majesty. And may we remember not to use those glasses we got off Amazon, for lo, they are fake.

I hope those aren’t from Amazon.

And speaking of amazons, we pray that on this day, you will not allow that Dead Moon Circus, once imprisoned by your mother, to be released by the phlebotinum of yon solar eclipse. Or, if you do allow it, that you totally kick their butts forthwith.

Uh oh.

And lead us not into temptation, especially the temptation to make out with any alicorn ponies that might appear to us during this eclipse, even though that would be kind of hot.

Dammit, loli, you stole my husbando.

And may your Crystal Tokyo come, and your ten-century reign over the Solar System, that we may live long lives of peace and sugar-free cake, at least until your daughter completely screws things up.

Amen.

But do something about your architectural scheme because, I mean, really.

On Waifus

A debate has raged—raged, I say—in our combox on the subject of waifus.

What is a waifu? And how many waifus may a man have?

The first question is easily answered. As explained by Know Your Meme, the word waifu entered the parlance of English-speaking otaku largely on account of the popular anime adaptation of Azumanga Daioh, an irreverent and plotless slice-of-life story originally created as a four-panel comic strip by Kiyohiko Azuma. Azumaga Daioh is more-or-less the origin of the deservedly reviled CGDCT (cute girls doing cute things) genre of manga and anime, though it is considerably less putrid than many of its imitators. In one of Azuma’s comic strips, later adapted into an anime episode, the girls find a photograph of a beautiful lady, which fell from the pocket of their creepy pedo schoolteacher. When the girls ask the identity of the woman in the picture, the creepy teacher replies, in mutilated English, “Mai waifu,” that is, “My wife.” Continue reading “On Waifus”

#WaifuWednesday

Featuring Sailor Jupiter!

Today’s Waifu Wednesday is dedicated to Makoto Kino, also known as Sailor Jupiter. Sailor Jupiter is best pony.

Naoko Takeuchi originally intended the character to be a sukeban (that is, a girl gangster), but later dropped that idea. Nonetheless, Makoto retains some sukeban-like characteristics, including an intimidating air and a longer skirt.

Allegedly, she’s enormous and intimidates people with her bulk, though she actually has the same Barbie doll build as every other girl in Sailor Moon and doesn’t appear to stand more than a couple of inches taller.

Makoto likes flowers, cooking, and boys. In the anime, she also studies Kung fu. The anime also turns her general boy-craziness into a running gag: most every male she meets reminds her of her senpai.

She has super strength, and she’s a pretty good fighter even when not transformed. As a sailor, she can fire bolts of lightning, and she can allegedly control weather, though she apparently sucks at it.

But that’s okay, because no matter what, she’s still best sailor scout.

#WaifuWednesday

Apparently, this is something some weebs on Twitter do on Wednesdays. It’s Wednesday, so it’s time to display your waifu.

And for that reason, we need a random assortment of Duck from Princess Tutu.

10/10 would dance.

Princess Tutu is often considered the spiritual successor of Revolutionary Girl Utena, from which it borrows heavily, as I’ll explain at length one of these days when I get around to reviewing it. Although I’m eager to discuss it, I can’t until I’m done with Utena, because Tutu appears to be a “Take That!” aimed at Utena’s conclusion.

Continue reading “#WaifuWednesday”

Magical Girl Mixed Drinks!

See? I’m not the only one doing it.

A few days ago, I amused myself by inventing magical girl-themed mixed drinks (all are untested, so create at your own risk), except the Madoka is basically a ripoff of a standard Baby Guinness, only with Cannon Shot.

But I’m not alone. Kyla M. Covert beat me to it by creating the Magical Girl, a cocktail involving viniq, prosecco, and cranberry juice. I don’t even know what those are. Well, except for the cranberry juice … okay, viniq is apparently moscato with vodka. That sounds appropriately disgusting. Maybe not as disgusting as what I suggested for the Utena, but still.

Unlike me, Covert actually tested her creation. Here’s the result:

Reasonably classy.

It looks okay. It’s probably pretty sweet, but it really shouldn’t be called “the Magical Girl” unless it’s cloying and gross.

Speaking of which, if you really want outrageous girly drinks that will cause heart palpitations or possibly fits of rage in anyone with a Y-chromosome or a modicum of respect for alcohol, you totally have to check out the abomination known as a “unicorn.” As described on a blog inappropriately called Kidspot, a unicorn is an alcoholic beverage made with such ingredients as ice cream, milk, and cotton candy. And there’s booze in there someplace.

So, do you eat the cotton candy first, or do you push it into the drink, or … ?

This is apparently something of a trend, as Kidspot reports several bars with several variations on this diabetes-inducing creation.

Eww.

So there you go. Now we know what magical girls drink on their down time. As for me? I’m gonna go crack open a beer.

 

The Madoka

Initially sweet, it soon turns sharp and bitter

Pour Cannon Blast into a shot glass. Carefully pour Irish creme down the side of the glass until it forms a white “head” on top of the dark liquor.

Initially sweet and creamy, followed by a strong citrus taste and a sharp burn of ginger in the throat. Pairs well with heavily implied homoeroticism. Drink until you suffer.

The Tutu

A royal drink that will keep you on your toes

Pour vodka, Malt Duck, and coconut rum over ice in a tall, chilled glass. Over the back of a spoon, slowly pour in the Coole Swan to produce a layered “head” effect. Garnish with mint.

Initially chocolatey and creamy, but quickly becomes tangy and strong with a coconut aftertaste. Pairs well with wine and pizza. Drink until you can’t dance and feel like marrying your cat.