• Unclever_Hans

    “Reading the monster fight in the third chapter, I realized I didn’t care for the people being killed more than I would concord grapes being crushed on the floor at the local Kroger.”

    So much for addressing the mass murder that typically accompanies this genre, huh? On the other hand, I rather like the distance that you keep; my days of attachment to fictional charactes have passed.

    • I should probably not comment on reviews of my own work, but from where I sit this looks like a common problem with serial publications. We’re three chapters in, having met the protagonists in the second chapter, the third chapter being largely devoted to an action sequence. And I’m aiming for twenty manuscript pages per chapter, which is short for a book but long for a blog post.

      The characters will get developed and fleshed out, but not in a mere forty pages.

      • Unclever_Hans

        He’s American, Deej; we all are. You’re hoping for a patience that we don’t have, because we’re shortening our lives with our processed diets and our lack of sleep. We need the conclusion now!

        • Tsk. Very well.

          It ends when the Moon Princess returns; as it turns out, she’s been up on the moon all this time, leaving humanity to its fate, because she’s been making cream pies for everyone. Her goal in life is a global cream pie party. The monsters and magical girls have a citywide pie fight. Then Jake marries the Dark Queen. The end.

          • Unclever_Hans