Meet Your Magical Girls! JAKE AND THE DYNAMO Bio 5: Sword Seamstress

CODENAME: Magical Girl Sword Seamstress
ALTER EGO: [redacted]
FAMILIAR: Stitches the Ragdoll cat
CURRENT AGE: 13
THREAT LEVEL COMPETENCY: 8.3
MAGITECH: Sewing-based

“A stitch in time stops crime!”

The haughty yet superbly fashionable Sword Seamstress is one of the most admired and effective magical girls in all of Urbanopolis. Some maintain that she is second only to Pretty Dynamo herself.

She slays monsters by the dozens. More importantly, she does it with class.

Ambidextrous, armed with a pair of magical Knitting Rapiers, and impeccable in her manners, dress, and skill, Magical Girl Sword Seamstress can slaughter her enemies without even pausing in her knitting. Not only is she an expert fencer, but, equipped as she is with multiple balls of yarn and an enviable sewing kit, she can create new weapons out of whole cloth … literally.

Her collapsible, magically enhanced swords ride on her garter belts. Once she draws them, she can cut through any substance, yet she can also, inexplicably, knit with them without cutting her yarn. In less that a second, she can churn out such terrible weapons as the Cat’s Cradle, the Strangulation Scarf, and the dreaded Unholy Christmas Sweater Attack. From her sewing kit, she can cast such deadly attacks as the Needlepoint Barrage, a hail of sewing needles.

Besides this, because her swords are actually closer to Tunisian crochet hooks than knitting needles properly speaking, she can hook them end to end and swing them around in a deadly arc, much like Chinese hook swords.

In recent days, Sword Seamstress has courted controversy via her much-publicized conflict with Magical Girl Pretty Dynamo. Asked the reason for this animosity, Sword Seamstress has merely said, “Oh my Princess, are you, like, kidding me? Just look at her.”

For her part, when asked about the conflict, Pretty Dynamo has merely replied, “I zappin’ hate that chick.”